American Education Week-Funny Science Quiz Answers

My friend Cathy sent this me. I thought the answers were really funny. I hope you enjoy them.

Q: Name the four seasons.
A: Salt, pepper, mustard and vinegar.

Q: Explain one of the processes by which water can be made safe to drink.
A: Flirtation makes water safe to drink because it removes large pollutants like grit, sand, dead sheep and canoeists.

Q: How is dew formed?
A: The sun shines down on the leaves and makes them perspire.

Q: How can you delay milk turning sour?
(Brilliant logic - love this!)
A: Keep it in the cow.

Q: What causes the tides in the oceans?
A: The tides are a fight between the Earth and the Moon. All water tends to flow towards the moon, because there is no water on the moon, and nature hates a vacuum. I forget where the sun joins in this fight.

Q: What happens to your body as you age?
A: When you get old, so do your bowels and you get intercontinental.

Q: How are the main parts of the body categorized? ( e.g., abdomen)
A: The body is consisted into three parts -- the brainium, the borax and the abdominal cavity. The brainium contains the brain; the borax contains the heart and lungs, and the abdominal cavity contains the five bowels A, E, I, O, and U.

Q: What is the fibula?
A: A small lie.

Lessons from Homework

I had a parent few years ago who had a limited reading ability. She was a very humble woman. Each night that I sent home an assignment she didn’t understand she would call me at school. She checked over her son’s assignments as soon as he walked in the door. If he couldn’t remember what he was supposed to do or she didn’t understand any of the words on the assignment, she called me by 3:30 p.m. I was still there at 3:30 p.m. and could easily give her the help she needed.

I had another parent about fifteen years ago who would send in a homework assignment back undone. She would tack on a note saying her son said he couldn’t do it independently so, she didn’t make him do it. I would start each morning going over his homework and having him do it. He could do it. He just needed someone to point him in the right direction.

Guess which parent was telling their child school and learning were important.

Mommyhood Tip: Help Your Child Remember- Backpack Checklist Tag

Do you have a child that is constantly forgetting things they need for school? Do they forget to give you things that you need to sign, fill out, and do for school? I remember reading about this great idea. It was called a backpack checklist.

How do you make one?

1. Get a plastic luggage tag.

2. Remove the name and address card and trace the shape of the card onto a piece of paper.

3. On that piece of paper type or write a list of the important things you need to do each night to be ready for school the next day. Place a checkbox beside each item.

4. Place the paper in the luggage tag.

5. Each night check off the items on the list with a whiteboard or washable marker.

6. Wipe clean when finished.

Sample List:
Completed daily homework
Worked on long term project
Gave parent all notes from school
Reviewed for test of quiz
Gathered all supplies needed (pencils, paper, etc.)
Library books
Sneakers for gym
Money for lunch
Signed all papers (report card, weekly folder, permission lists)

If this seems to be too much for a luggage tag, you could make a frig checklist.

Mommyhood Tip- What Terms Are They Using To Teach A Skill

Ask your child’s teacher what terms they using to teach a particular concept. I remember a mom calling me on the phone to ask just that question about two digit addition. She said she had tried helping her child with their homework and had used the word trading to mean trade 10 ones for 1 ten. Her child informed her that wasn’t how we did it. “Please tell my child that I do know how to add,” she said to me. Of course the mom knew how to add. What she didn’t know was that the terms we used to describe the process had changed. We were carrying and not trading. States now require that teachers use the same terms that will be used on their standards test. Check with your child’s teacher and make sure you know what the current terms are. It could really help you and your child’s ability to understand what the tests are asking.

Taking Take Lessons from Books- My Teacher Sleeps at School

My Teacher Sleeps at School is an awesome book! The students in the class see the teacher bring in a bag of food and a pillow and conclude that the teacher lives at school.Later in the book she takes her class to her house to see where she lives. As a first grader my class went to have lunch at my teacher’s apartment on the way back from a field trip. I remember being in awe as I sat in her living room and listening to her read Winnie the Pooh to us while she sat in her own rocking chair.

When I ran into students, they were always surprised to see me out of school. I think they assumed I slept at school too. What do your children think about their teacher’s lives? I bet they could write a funny story about their teachers using the facts they know about them.

American Education Week Quote

My heart is singing for joy this morning! A miracle has happened! The light of understanding has shone upon my little pupil's mind, and behold, all things are changed.

Anne Sullivan, Helen Keller's teacher