When the two of us were together most of the day, I would say it all during the day. He must have loved hearing it, because he has started asking me if I love him when he gets up in the morning, when I pick him up from school, and when I tuck him in a night. It is like he has a deficit in his heart my telling him that I love him.
Starting school has been a transition for us. JDaniel being in school all day has been new for him. It means a longer time of following school rules. There are 27 children in his class and that means there are twenty six other children who need attention from the kindergarten teacher and aide. It means there isn't someone reminding him that he is special and loved as often.
I am sure the teachers and aides at his school love the students, but it is a different kind of love than he has enjoyed being given to him when he was at home.
There aren't the constant reminders of being loved. There weren't constant reminders at home all the time though. We did and still do lock horns. He is expected to follow family rules and when he doesn't follow them I am sure he doesn't feel that I love him. JDaniel has shared that very thing with us from his "timeout" spot.
Still right at this moment he need more reassurances that I love him. In many ways he reminds me of a squirrel storing up nuts for the winter. It is like he is stockpiling reminders that I love him to carry with him to school. It feel like he should have had a number of I love yous stored from his younger years, (I know I said it often.) but he doesn't seem to have enough.
There have been so many changes this fall. Kindergarten full day was a huge change, but there have been others. Knowing his dad and I are both job hunting has made him nervous about the future. We have tried to upbeat and remind him that God will give us the jobs He wants us to have. Having less time to play and do things together do to fuller days is something he has complained about.
So, I am snuggling with JDaniel in the morning and whispering into his ear, " I love you." I am placing notes in his lunch telling him that I love him. I am creating I love you lunches. Finally I am hugging him a little longer at bedtime and saying, " I love you! I love you! I love you!"
We all can have times when the I Love You sections of our hearts need filling so, when JDaniel asks," Mama, do you love me?" I will answer him back with words of love. He loves to hear them and I so love to say them.